Having worked on myself to improve and change my negative patterns of behavior and relating I’ve learned great awareness . One thing that stands out for me is the capacity to be able to look at my part. How do I relate to people and how can I improve my communication skills so that i take care of myself and my boundaries without offending the other person.
Effective communication is paramount in relationships. Too often we get caught up in our own head about what we think is right and wrong. Effective communication is best practiced when you are in a relationship. You get to learn what works for you, what doesn’t and how offending others is not the right way to go. It’s not easy, but a learning process that takes trial and error. Given that, its important to identify at first, how we can take responsibility for ourselves by taking care of ourselves in a non selfish way.
When we take care of ourselves first we become clear in verbalizing in a clear and precise manner what we want and don’t want. Lets look at what self care can look like and bare in mind that it can be different for everyone. I am going to share a bit of what my self care looks like and when I don’t do these things how easily I can fall back into old patterns of relating.
Remember consistency is key when you want to break any negative patterns of relating!
Its important to know what self care means and what that looks like for each of us.
What does my self care look like today?
- Setting and verbalizing boundaries. What works for me and what doesn’t. What I am ok with and what I’m not ok with. Boundaries lets people know how I want to be treated.
- Doing things that I enjoy. Hobbies, like journaling, meditation and exercise.
- Taking time out to check in with myself. Spending time alone. Grounding techniques.
- Practicing self acceptance and progress not perfection.
- Learning to forgive myself when I mess up.
- Checking my inner critic.
- And lastly, be gentle with yourself.