From Self Hate to Self love
Self Love? Today been a difficult day! Struggling to come to terms with my imperfections in the workplace but at home as well. Being a coach, mother, daughter, and friend there’s always something and somewhere I can find fault in about myself. The slightest judgment can put me into a spiral of self-loathing for days if I let it.
I thought this was a perfect time and place to explore more about these negative thoughts in my mind that tend to consume me if I let them. I’m a sucker for negative thoughts. Is that just me, or is it a human condition for our minds to grasp onto the one negative thing that might happen in our day, whether it’s our fault or another’s?
I think it’s both. But, if it’s a human condition to cling to negativity, then the opposite is true as well. We can train our minds to cling to the positive as well which is what I practice in my personal life as well as my professional life.
Let’s Face it!
Let’s face it, we’ll all receive some negative feedback from time to time. Not everyone will like our work or agree with our thoughts. Is it selfish to want everyone to like me?
Well, yes it is. Its self centered to the core. I cannot have that expectation. It’s unrealistic, and I find myself asking the question then, what is that really about? Am I seeking approval that I am ok just as I am? Absolutely.
I find myself shifting my perspective and that brings me the awareness that the only approval I really need is from myself. That brings me to self-acceptance.
Understanding and realizing that I am beautifully imperfect just the way I am is a repetitive process I am working on every day. My mission is to come to love myself truly and pass this love onto someone else. This is why I became a coach in the first place.
If we truly love ourselves then we wouldn’t judge ourselves or harm ourselves, we would practice self-care and self-healing. But self-love isn’t just about self-care, it goes way deeper than that.
Self love is a commitment I have made to myself that I will seek the highest good for myself in every situation. It’s a commitment I‘ve made to myself that I will always strive to learn and grow and not beat myself up or belittle myself when I mess up. And when I do find myself in these negative states, I make it a point to get out of them quickly. I don’t stay there for too long.
If I love myself just the way I am today, then I can love others for who they are as well and that is how true authentic love grows.
Loving myself means that I never give up on myself and I always find the good and the positive in every situation that is presented before me in order to grow and evolve into a better version of myself.
When you have a mindset like that, you are always progressing, always working on your inner self. Self-love is about your internal world, not your external world.
Self-love begins with self-acceptance.
Discovering your inner critic, knowing the difference between your head and your heart. Becoming aware of your ego and its purpose. Learning how to make decisions that are heart-based and not ego-based.
Connecting to those parts of yourself brings you the opportunity to heal, expand and transform into the highest version of yourself every day.
This is the core foundation of the work I do with myself and others.