Brain vs. Heart

Brain or Heart?

Our brain is an organ of soft nervous tissue contained in the skull of vertebrates, functioning as the coordinating center of sensation and intellectual and nervous activity. It controls functions, movements, sensations, and thoughts. It’s a vastly high functioning organ and one of the most important organs in our body. Everything is controlled by the brain. Our body sends signals to our brain telling it what works for us and what doesn’t. It tells us when we’re hungry or in physical pain. It’s where our thoughts are created and where our beliefs about ourselves are formed, whether they are positive or negative thoughts and beliefs.

heart with hands


Our thoughts become our perception of the outside world and of every circumstance in our lives.  However unique the brain is, if we allow it to control us it can be potentially dangerous for our emotional well-being if those beliefs and thoughts are negative. We must be careful of our thoughts because they become our reality.

At some point, each and every one of us has experienced some form of trauma in our early life as children. As children not knowing any better we make a generalization (i.e. a belief) about this trauma (i.e. incident) in order to better cope in our environment. For example, I was a child behaved as quietly as a mouse not to upset my father, not to make him scream at me. I was traumatized as a child because my father used to constantly scream in our home and as a result, I hardly ever spoke. I was the quiet one, I wanted to be invisible. The constant negative criticism made me believe that I was worthless, powerless and stupid. This was programmed into my brain, and what came to be my reality and perception of who I am.

The rest of my life was a take-off from that point and every choice I made reflected my low sense of self-esteem.

The voices in my head were those of my parents telling me “you are not good enough”, “you do not deserve to be loved as you are” hence, thinking that there was something vitally wrong with me.  

This is called negative programming resulting in low self-image and self-esteem, and if this is learned and programmed in us, then, it must be true that our brains can be re-programmed to believe positive things about ourselves. This is just an example of how our brain works. It is an incredible organ but if you allow it to control you it can be your worst enemy. If you use it correctly it can be a beautiful servant.

Growing up

Growing up as children we are programmed by our parents and our environment. Messages we hear from our parents and teachers get implanted in our brain enabling us to make certain beliefs about ourselves, an event or circumstance which has taken place early on in our lives. We believe what our parents say because they for a long time are our only source of teaching and learning. They set an example for us. Their behaviour becomes our behaviour and it’s like we are set on some kind of default programming mode for life despite its consequences. However, this default setting can be changed.

Finding out that our parents are flawed can be a harsh wake-up call to reality. Our parents are not perfect, they are flawed and are made to make mistakes, because to err is human. So, forgive them for their flaws, they did the best they could with what they knew. Its a cycle passed on by generations in families. This cycle can be broken, and it can only be broken by you.


Now, I would like to introduce you to your heart.  Your heart is another organ that pumps blood through the circulatory system by rhythmic contractions and dilations.  Another meaning can also be the central and innermost part of something. Your heart is the center and the innermost part of you.  Learning to distinguish between what your heart is saying to you and what your brain is saying to you takes practice, courage and dedication.

What is your inner monologue? What do you say to yourself on a daily basis? Are you hard on yourself? Learn to distinguish when negative self-talk arises, that this is from your brain and not from your heart. Negative self-talk is a learned belief followed by negative learned behavior. This can be absolutely re-programmed and re-learned! Your heart is never wrong. Your heart is where the real you lays. Learning your true self can be quite a challenge and takes courage and dedication, but, it can’t be done alone. With support from a life coach, mentor or therapist you can uncover the real you and make better, healthier, more suiting choices for yourself. Uncovering your true nature is a gift you give yourself and those of us who choose it are truly blessed!  

I invite you to join this road of self-discovery!

You will find that within you there is a precious, strong and powerful being capable of giving you everything you’ve ever dreamed of. All you need is is to take the first step. Reach out to someone who can teach you courage and faith. Through mentorship, coaching and support of a professional individual, you will be guided towards abundance. Everything you thought to be true will be untaught, and you will look at life through new eyes.

The road to self-discovery is like the feeling of being re-born, it’s like a feeling of coming home to yourself. I wish it upon everyone.

About Christina Kyranis

A Relationship counselor and coach

I will always be interested in self-improvement and growth, for without them my soul will spiritually die. Mine is a journey of continually realizing my true self. My purpose is to help you reach the truest version of yourself. "Success in any endeavor depends on the degree to which it is an expression of your true self." Ralph Marston

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