5 red flags in dating

Wouldn’t it be great if we had so much experience in dating that we went in knowing exactly what to accept and not to? I wish I had been told these things way before I made my own mistakes in dating. My values back then were very weak. I basically just had one sole value. Physical attraction. The more attracted we were the better! That was all that mattered. All the rest would fall into place. Little did I know what lessons were awaiting me. The fact is, that although physical attraction is important at first, its way down in the list of dating values. The more you spend with a person, lesser becomes the importance of physical attraction and more important becomes the way they treat you. Actually, what happens to both men and women is that our liking of that person diminishes according to the way they treat us. The more our needs and wants are not getting met by that person, the more we want to leave them, until we finally do.

So, how can we avoid this heartache? How can we know if the person is right for us? Are there tell tale signs we can look for that help us avoid some of our time, effort, energy and heartache? I say absolutely!!

The least we can do is minimize the damage. We can go through any experience we choose, but with our eyes wide open. A little more awareness goes a really long way. It gives us the power of conscious choice! So, lets see what are some of the signals we can look for in order to help us make better relationship choices in the future.

5 red flag dating no, no’s :

  1. When eating dinner with your date, watch how he orders his food. Does he ask you what you want first or does he go ahead and order his first? Does he tell you what to order? These questions are important, because they give us a small inclination as to how he will treat you within the relationship later on. Telling you what to order is a sign of control, and not asking you what you would like is a lack of consideration. Cool huh?
  2. When they’re talking negatively about ex partners, or talking a lot about one ex partner in particular, it can mean, A, that they’re not over them, or B, that they have unresolved issues internally that will definitely be transferred on to you.
  3. Love bombing is always a negative sign that things are not what they seem. Anything that is rushed and or urgent sizzles out just as fast as it started. Real love and confidence is patient and considerate and has nothing to prove.
  4. Another really big negative sign of toxicity is when they talk negatively about their family. Either mother or father. There are always issues when someone bad mouths their family. Thats just wrong.
  5. Continuous self promoting is a sign of deep insecurity and in some cases narcissism. When you encounter this one, just run as fast as you can in the opposite direction!

I hope these signals will help you make better relationship choices in the future. Looking out for these signs can be good practice as well. For those of you who are dating I wish you good luck! And remember, practice makes perfect, and always trust your gut instinct. If you don’t know what your gut instinct is, its that subtle little voice we often ignore that says, “nah, this isn’t right!”

About Christina Kyranis

A Relationship counselor and coach

I will always be interested in self-improvement and growth, for without them my soul will spiritually die. Mine is a journey of continually realizing my true self. My purpose is to help you reach the truest version of yourself. "Success in any endeavor depends on the degree to which it is an expression of your true self." Ralph Marston

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