Relationships can be hard! We all know that! You can flip over backwards for your partner , but still that may not be enough at times. Nothing can guarantee your relationship will last forever but really, should that be our focus anyways?
Is making a relationship last forever the right way to go?
Well, the answer to that is a residing no! I know, I know it can be quite disappointing to hear. But, the thing is that we are powerless over others and the future.
Do you agree, that you can’t go back into the past and change it?
Do you agree, that you can’t go into the future and force it?
If so, where does that leave you?
It leaves you with the only time you ever have which is the present moment. The past and the future are merely constructs of the brain. So trying to stay in the present moment within your relationship will bring you to a point where you are able to focus on whats happening right here and now, instead of fearing or worrying what may happen in the future. Sometimes, relationships have to end, sometimes they are merely lessons for us, or maybe they’re just preparing us for the next relationship coming around.
The question is how do you move on ?
- Meditation is great way to A, practice staying in the present moment and B, help you connect to your feelings.
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings. Journal, write down what you feel without judgement. Write out 3 pages without stopping and let it all out. Its called a dump! Dump that shit out !
- Practice self care. What do you enjoy doing? Reading, writing, taking a walk, going to the gym? Taking a nice long hot bubble bath?
- Get support !! See a counsellor or coach for help. You might need it.
- Understand that getting over someone takes time. Give yourself that time.
- Do not jump into another relationship straight away! It will only take you away from the feelings you need to address, which is the heartache of that breakup and the reality that your partner may have failed you or you may have failed them. Acknowledge the failure of the relationship .
- Forgive yourself and you partner. You’re only human and in our humanness we are all flawed. Sometimes the person we need most from simply is not able to give us what we want for their own reasons that have nothing to do with us.
- Accept people for who they are.
- Understand that there is no perfect relationship.
- Check your expectations! Are they realistic? Most failed relationships are rooted in having unrealistic expectations.
Coming around to my initial question. Where should our focus be? Your focus should be on you! Focus on taking care of yourself, meet your own needs and always check your expectations! ITs not about getting him or her to stay forever. We are fearful of rejection & abandonment because we are going to be alone. OR, we think we can’t live without them. These are all valid feelings, but completely untrue.
Its about getting to know & love yourself.
Who is the one person that is always with you no matter what?
You know the answer!
Losing a relationship isn’t the worst thing, although it may feel like it. One of the greatest losses in relationships is really the loss of our sense of self. People are sometimes unaware of this happening, but essentially is the root of all sorrow, disconnection, emptiness & loneliness.