Endless love

I was watching the movie “Endless Love” last night with Brooke Shields, and it made me think back to when I was young experiencing love for the first time. Wow, is all I have to say.

I remember my very first boyfriend, his name was Nick. We were so in love, very much like the movie reveals, we couldn’t stay away from each other. We would spend every waking hour with each other. Suffice it to say that I was nearly failing in school. He was all I wanted to do!

Is it like this for everyone the first time, I wonder?

What I came to realize is that young love is very different from love at an older age. I attribute that to the fact that we are more aware, we’ve been hurt and we’ve learned to harden our hearts because of it. As a result we become cautious to whom we open up to, to whom we open our lives and hearts to.

I find myself asking, which is better? Being obliviously in love or being aware in love? Mature enough to know where to say no and where to say yes? Or just let it all go and enjoy the ride?

The one thing I remember experiencing love for the first time at the age of 18 was the innocence, ignorance and the sense of carefreeness, like I’ll do anything for you love. I had hope, I wore my heart on my sleeve and I was star struck. It was exhilarating.

Thinking back, I can say that I am very grateful for my first love and everything he made me feel. I loved that experience. Teenagers are so intense sometimes. Our love was intense. I think all girls should be able to have that experience and I would like my daughter to have that beautiful experience as well. I know though, that it might not be the same for everyone. I just hope that my daughter can experience something exquisite!

Back then I thought that our love would last forever. We made promises to each other how we’d always be together and how our life would look like, how our kids would look like etc. We made plans. Those plans of course went awry after two years. Of course it didn’t last because we changed.

Change I think is the only thing that is without a doubt for certain in this world.

Look at how quickly, from one day to the next, our lives changed with this pandemic? Who would of thought when life was going on normally all busy with our schedules that everything would suddenly and literally stop?! Its crazy!

Who would of thought that I would be divorced with two kids ? When I got married I had dreams that we would be together and that I’d have my family and most of all and above all, that I would be happy! God though, had another plan for me.

I was mostly miserable in my marriage, not all the time, but generally I had a lot to learn. Now I am much better. Now, I am on a journey of self discovery. Its all about me, what I like, my hobbies, Its like re discovering my self and my true nature and its the loveliest most intimate of experiences. My eyes are wide open! I am aware of myself like I’ve never been before and personally I wouldn’t change it for the world because I’ve come to the conclusion that everything in its time, and a time for everything.

My time for young love was back then, I learned and it ended. Now fast forward to today after having learned a lot, I am whole, full and content. I had to go through all of that to get to where I am today. Those experiences molded me to who I am now. It couldn’t of been any other way. I needed to go through all of that to learn the lessons that were meant for me !

You also needed to experience all you have to learn the lessons that where meant for you.

So, what I’m trying to say is that enjoy the moment you’re in right now, it won’t last. This too shall pass is both for the good and the difficult times. Good or bad, enjoy it and learn from it. Nothing lasts forever, relationships are not meant to be forever, they are meant for us to learn.

Your relationship is the vehicle that takes you on a self discovery journey where you learn the truth about yourself.

In the end the relationship that proves to serve as the foundation of all your other relationships is the one you have with yourself. So cherish yourself, take care of yourself, take a risk and open up, show him/ her who you really are, fail, win, learn and love. Let yourself get hurt.

It’s a wonderful life!

I would love to hear about your first love in the comments below. Feel free to share!

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Debby Winter says:

    It’s nice to get to know a little bit more about you. Wishing you a wonderful day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! have a great day too! blessings

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I have nominated you for the liebster award. pLs find the link here: https://ckyranis.com/2020/04/19/liebster-award/

      Like

  2. Christina, your article is quite thought-provoking and has me in a conundrum worth investigating. I’ve been thinking about this for a bit now, prior to your post, contemplating past (early) relationships and drawing as close to “my first love”’as memory can serve.

    The odd thing is, I’m not entirely certain I could say honestly if I was actually in love back in college, definitely not high school, or whether it was heightened emotions and distant memories.

    So, I’ll go with my first serious adult relationship, when I was in my early 20s. After graduation I’d met a woman and it was instant chemistry. Very much aligned in the way two youngish hearts, minds, bodies and spirits connect. Similar interests, likes/dislikes, and ambitions, to make time enjoyed together feel as though it would never end.

    Two plus years into it, and after a tumultuous short term of living together it ended amicably enough on the final goodbyes. Though there was a spell when she went rogue, met up with another guy – professional athlete (at least she scored well 😊) – did her thing and came back. It was done. So, was I.

    I vowed to never allow myself to feel that way again. Being let down and hurt. Vulnerable. Foolish. Giddy. But, I did and also, I hurt others in the process through various times of courtship with other women – meeting, dating, splitting up – throughout my 20s. Ultimately, I was married for 24 years and separated several years back.

    So, that’s a bit of over sharing – not sure if that’s what you were asking … – but, it felt good to let it go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I relate to the vulnerability and the foolishness, but also hurting others in the process. Wow 24 years of marriage. congratulations. I only lasted 9 years married, then divorced. Thank you for stopping by and sharing!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I read “Man with the Lost Soul.” Very relatable. Great blog. Expressive and transparent, draws readers to question their own circumstances and much else. Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for your comments! yes, it s taken from personal life experiences.

    Like

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