A lot of people, both men and women have a belief that physical intimacy and passion dies after a while in marriage or in long term relationships. I try and help them see that this is a limiting belief that prevents them from experiencing true closeness, togetherness and understanding of one another where true passion grows from.
When intimacy is built between two people, a real understanding and deep knowing of one another exists. There comes a point where the couple is connected on an inner level after having shared each others real feelings and where an acceptance of each other is mutual.
After having practiced mutual sharing, openness, willingness and honesty, deep love, compassion and passion expands from that point and just keeps on growing.
It ‘s not easy though. It takes commitment and perseverance, as in anything we truly care about in this life if we really want to succeed. If I gave up on my coaching career after every setback, then I would of just quit and I wouldn’t be a coach. Failure is a part of success.
If we want to succeed in our personal relationships we have to be comfortable with the concept of failure. You are going to fail!
I love the saying, fail big or go home!
The only way we can grow and make a significant shift is with the help of others. Transformation can never be done on our own. Thats the beauty of humanity. We need each other!! Now so more than ever before!
6 Segments of Intimacy Coaching
In intimacy coaching I work with couples to enhance and build intimacy between them.
- Together we enhance expression of feelings. We learn how to communicate our feelings in an effective way so the other understands.
- We work on becoming more vulnerable. We do exercises on vulnerability during the session that bring the couple together. We also learn how to verbalize our emotions.
- We work on how to become more responsible for our feelings and emotions. This is an important one because often couples make the mistake of projecting their feelings onto their partner making them responsible for the way they feel. This is never true. No one is responsible for your feelings. You alone are responsible. When you are able to understand this and act on it, you will understand a new sense of freedom and power. This also frees the your partner from the bondage of making him/her responsible. When couples understand this they really start to feel some of the pressure lift off of them and the relationship.
- We work on increasing mutual support within the relationship and we get to know what each partner really needs.
- We learn how to support each others vulnerability.
- Lastly, we create special rituals and activities that enrich the couples relationship and connection.
What Intimacy Really Means
- Nurturing – We are nurturing to both ourselves and our partner when we develop intimacy
- Vulnerable – We allow ourselves to be vulnerable around our partner, showing our fears and anxiety. Being vulnerable is being open. Completely open in your nakedness on an emotional level. We also risk being first. That means we risk sharing first. Super scary? Yes it is! But oh so effective!
- Honesty – We are honest about our feelings, be it negative or positive knowing that it will be acknowledged and allowed first by ourselves then by our partner. If you don’t allow yourself to experience negative emotions then how can you expect your partner to do so?
- Be present – Being present means being emotionally and physically available to another. Listening is a large part of effective communication.
- Initiative – This ties in with vulnerability – it means risk being first and taking a chance on the other. Doing something for them, being of service to them.
- Completion – Making sure that what we promise we deliver. Being consistent in our word and actions. What we begin we complete and we don’t leave people hanging on,. Our work is solid and our actions complete. This creates trust.
I invite you to start thinking where your relationship could need a little tweaking on the intimacy front!
And, try not to overwhelm yourself, baby steps! Start off with the easy bits and build from there.
As always, you are free to connect with me to either ask me questions or get on a complimentary call.
Be safe and be happy!