Say you’re on a date having dinner and suddenly you get that icky feeling, its like an alarm clock going off in your body telling you that the man across from you is not right for you? Something is off! Something about what he’s saying to you, the way he’s saying it… What is he talking about? How he’s making you feel!
We as women are very intuitive and perceptive when it comes to our bodies and feelings. I am a firm believer of that. When something is not right, we can feel it to the core of our bones, but often we ignore it because of self doubt.
You know when you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach but tend to ignore it?
We tent to push it right down not giving it the attention it deserves because we have all these other voices going on in our heads telling us something else entirely !
“Im overreacting, I should give him a chance, He might be the last chance I get. He’s here now, so I might as well give him the benefit of the doubt. I feel attracted to him!”
Monkey brain! Who’s familiar with this ?
I’ve had experiences with men in the past that have been enjoyable and then not so enjoyable.
I have a pattern. I know my pattern and it tends to be toxic which means its very bad for me.
I’ve had a tendency to go for unavailable, narcissistic toxic men.
My instincts today are wide awake and listening. Paying really close attention to the red flags and the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I need to be able to answer certain questions because above all I need to keep myself safe, otherwise things go bad for me very fast. I get into compulsive codependent cycles that leave me feeling powerless, hopeless and very, very low. Lets face it, its very painful as well!
My emotional well being comes first above all else. Its not a selfish thing. It comes from a place of self care. Something which I write about a lot in my blog posts.
I work with women to enhance and promote their self empowerment in order for them to make better, healthier relationship choices that are aligned to their true self.
Choices that come from self love. That come from the heart.
I invite you, if you’re single and looking for a relationship, or you’re in a relationship but unhappy, to pay attention to that feeling in your stomach, that warning sign and know that if you feel somethings not right, then somethings not right! Thats all you need to know.
Trust your instincts and try making a table for yourself with green light signs, yellow light signs and red light signs. It will be very helpful for you because when it comes to romantic relationships, often our feelings of attraction are simply not enough and doesn’t mean that just because you’re attracted to him that he’s a right fit for you!
Below is a table of my list to give you an example for what works for me and what doesn’t.
|GREEN LIGHT GO||YELLOW LIGHT (Warning Signs)||RED LIGHT (Deal Breakers)|
|Sense of humor||Makes harsh comments||Addict|
|Open minded||Has weird rel/ship with family||Narcissistic tendencies|
|Has friends||Tells me what to do||Puts me down|
|Is consistent||Is a loner||Isn’t spiritual|
|I feel normal (no weird feelings in my tummy)||Is inconsistent||Is controlloing|
|Is spiritual||Has no friends|
|Has no hobbies or interests|