Today is a bit of a struggle, after a three day leisurely weekend I find it challenging to get back to my weekly routine. Kids have school today and I think to myself, “thats a good thing, I get to have some free time!” Free time is a good thing! As a mom, I need some me time. I live by this moto, otherwise I get crabby, shouty, short tempered and extremely irritable. Moms need some time away from their kids!
Its 10:00 am on a beautiful Tuesday sunny morning and spring is right around the corner. The birds are chirping away and Its a great time to blog! I’ve been doing really great recently, writing every day. Its so soothing, just sitting here with my cup of Joe, writing and reading, its almost like a form of meditation for me. Its my special time.
Moving onwards! Today’s feeling as I awoke in the morning was heavy. I didn’t want to get up , I would rather just lay in bed all day. I’m really good at laying in bed all day. Too good sometimes! I need to monitor my motivation and energy levels which also tie into major bouts of procrastination and lack of action. However, today, I am thankful that I have done a good amount of work on myself that allows me to be aware of when these periods befall me and thankfully, they don’t last as long as they used to. I’ve discovered over the years that my behavior or lack of “doing” (lack of action) is often tied into fear and anxiety. The higher the levels of anxiety, the higher the levels of fear. I would say the two are very closely linked.
When I am aware of these emotions I know its a signal that I need to take care of myself. What I learned is that whatever is going on for me, there is always an emotion that goes with it. When I can find the emotion driving the behavior, I can change it and make a shift.
Through my daily practice of meditation and journaling, I am able to become aware of my body and feelings. I find that despite my daily spiritual practices, negative emotions still manage to surface and this is normal because its a part of who I am. The question is, what do I do with them?
Firstly, I have found that all of our emotions are valid and they need a safe place to breathe, to be expressed and acknowledged. Being an addict I was very good at numbing and disassociating from those negative emotions just because they were unbearable to experience.
Through recovery I learned that in order to live a life of peace, integrity, honesty, humility and love I must learn to love myself. This meant that I must accept and allow all of my feelings. I acknowledge them, take a mental note and say, “I see you there, I know you’re there.”
Establish your negative emotion accompanying your behavior. Is it fear, anxiety, anger, jealousy, sadness? What is going on for you? Did you get enough sleep the night before? Give these emotions a voice. Write it down if you need to. At first just observe the feelings and let them be. Try and come from a place of acceptance.
When we consciously make a choice of self care, we become more attuned to our body and our needs, both physically and emotionally. We begin to care about what choices we ‘re making instead of just living and allowing things to happen, we begin to choose what we allow to happen and not. Its living purposefully. Theres a difference when we become aware. We start to witness life through different lenses. Kinda like 3D living, as my therapist used to say.
So, today I invite you to become aware of your thoughts, behaviors and the feelings accompanying them. Once you become aware, you can take back your power and choose what you want to do next.
How can you practice self care today even though you’re feeling crabby?
For me, its blogging and I feel better already!
As with everything it takes practice, but with an intention of cultivating more self love and self care, its definitely worth the effort!